How to motivate a CEGEP teen who wants to drop out after the first semester?

The sentence drops in the middle of dinner, or late one evening in the kitchen: “I think I’m going to drop out of CEGEP.” For a parent, these few words can trigger a wave of worry, frustration, or even panic. The first reaction is often to try to convince them, argue about the importance of a diploma, or point out a lack of effort. We brandish the threat of an uncertain future, compare them to others, or apply pressure. Yet, these reflexes, while understandable, are often counterproductive.

What if the real key wasn’t to “motivate” at all costs, but to understand what is truly hidden behind this desire to quit? The transition from high school to college is a true culture shock. Supervision disappears, autonomy becomes the norm, and the pressure to perform—embodied by the famous R score—intensifies. This sudden drop in motivation is rarely a sign of laziness. It is more often the symptom of growing anxiety, doubt about their orientation, or a feeling of being completely overwhelmed by study methods that are no longer adapted.

This article suggests you change your posture: move from the worried parent who pushes to the benevolent investigator who accompanies. We are not going to give you magic formulas to force your young adult to stay in school. Instead, we will provide you with keys to understanding and concrete tools specific to the Quebec reality to decode the situation, open a constructive dialogue, and explore different avenues together. Because helping your teen isn’t about drawing a path for them; it’s about teaching them how to read the map of their own possibilities.

Why a sudden drop in grades often hides an anxiety problem rather than laziness

Before even addressing the report card, the first lead to explore is mental health. The transition to CEGEP coincides with a period of great personal upheaval and a significant increase in stress. The figures are striking: nearly one in two CEGEP or university students in Quebec was at risk of experiencing a major depressive episode, according to a survey by the Student Mental Health Observatory. This distress is often invisible and manifests through symptoms that are wrongly interpreted as laziness or a lack of will.

What parents need to understand is the “autonomy shock.” In high school, the teacher is a “guardian angel” who supervises and reminds students of deadlines. In CEGEP, as highlighted in analyses on the collegiate transition, the professor adopts a more equal and professional relationship, assuming the student is autonomous. For a young person who hasn’t yet developed their own organizational methods, this change can be dizzying and create a sense of loss of control—a major source of anxiety. This anxiety paralyzes and prevents action, leading to poor results, not the other way around.

As a “parent-investigator,” your first role is therefore to look for warning signs of anxiety, which are often more telling than a failing grade:

• Sleep difficulties: Trouble falling asleep, restless sleep, or frequent waking.
• Avoidance: Refusal to go to CEGEP, skipping certain classes, or withdrawing from social activities they used to enjoy.
• Loss of interest: A lack of interest in seeing friends, hobbies, or extracurricular activities.
• Physical symptoms: Recurring stomach aches or headaches, unexplained muscle tension.
• Behavioral changes: Changes in eating habits or increasing social isolation.

Recognizing these symptoms allows the nature of the conversation to change: instead of “Why are your grades dropping?”, one can ask “How are you feeling right now? I noticed you seem more tired.”

Tutoring or help center: Which support to choose to recover a failing grade?

Once the discussion on well-being is open, it’s time to explore concrete solutions. Faced with a failing grade, the first reflex is often to think of private tutoring—an expensive solution that isn’t always adapted. CEGEP is an ecosystem rich in support resources, most of which are free, but one must know them to guide their teen to the right door. Each service has a specific mission, and understanding their differences is essential for effective support.

For example, if your teen is questioning their program or considering changing paths, it’s not a tutor they need, but an Academic Advisor (API – Aide Pédagogique Individuel). This advisor is the resource person for their entire academic strategy. They can help adjust their schedule, choose summer courses to catch up, or plan a reorientation without “wasting” their semester. The following table summarizes the main options available to help you see more clearly.

Your role is not to make the appointment for them, but to say: “Did you know there’s someone at CEGEP, an API, whose job is specifically to help students who have doubts about their program?”. You provide the information and the power to act.

Technical or Pre-University: Which offers better perspectives if they hate theory?

Sometimes, academic support isn’t enough if the malaise is deeper and linked to the content of the studies itself. The Quebec collegiate system offers a major fork in the road: pre-university programs, designed as a two-year springboard to university, and technical programs, lasting three years, which lead directly to the job market while also allowing access to university. If your teen expresses a distaste for “theory,” it’s a major clue that they might be in a path that doesn’t match their learning style.

A classic mistake is to devalue technical training, considering it a “dead end” or a “less prestigious” option. This is an outdated view of the labor market and educational paths. Many technical programs offer excellent placement rates and competitive salaries. Furthermore, DEC-BAC bridges (pathways) are increasingly common and allow students to have their technical credits recognized at university, thereby reducing the duration of university studies.

The choice should not be based on prejudice, but on your teen’s profile. Are they someone who needs concrete action, manipulation, and tangible results? Or are they stimulated by abstract concepts and research? Discussing these two paths without hierarchy is a fundamental step in helping them find a program where they can finally feel in the right place.

Asking the question “Do you prefer to learn by doing or by reading?” can open a much more productive discussion than focusing solely on future career prospects.

The mistake of projecting your own ambitions, pushing the child toward burnout

The choice of an academic orientation must come from the adolescent. This is an easy cliché to say, but difficult for a parent who wants “the best” for their child to apply. Often, without even realizing it, we project our own ambitions, fears, or disappointed dreams onto their journey. This pressure, even if well-intentioned, can be a huge source of anxiety and lead directly to failure or burnout.

One of the strongest symbols of this pressure is the R score (cote R). For many students, the R score becomes the sole objective, as it is the selection criterion for competitive university programs (medicine, law, etc.). This obsession with performance, often fueled by family expectations, can become paralyzing. The teenager no longer works to learn or out of interest, but out of fear of disappointing. They feel they have no right to make mistakes, which transforms every exam into a referendum on their value and their future.

In this context, it is vital to know how to step back and give the adolescent space to breathe, and even to “do nothing.” This idea may seem counter-intuitive, but it is essential, as reminded by an adolescent health expert:

Young people are often scheduled to the minute. They have plenty of activities. It’s stressful. Idling is essential during adolescence. And I’m not talking about being on a phone looking at social media. I’m talking about being in a park, with friends, doing nothing.

– Dr. Olivier Jamoulle, Pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine, CHU Sainte-Justine

Stepping aside and saying “Your happiness is more important than your R score. Let’s explore what TRULY interests you” can have a liberating effect and give your teen the oxygen needed to re-engage.

When to study for midterms: The block method to avoid all-nighters

Once the surrounding pressure is reduced and dialogue restored, we can tackle a very concrete problem: study methods. The “autonomy shock” of CEGEP is primarily an organizational shock. The workload is much higher than in high school. It is essential to understand that each course has a weighting that indicates the expected workload. For example, a weighting of (3-2-3) means 3 hours of theory, 2 hours of lab, and, most importantly, a minimum of 3 hours per week of personal work. Multiplied by 5 or 6 courses, the math adds up quickly: a serious student’s work week often exceeds 40 hours.

Without a structured method, the student quickly becomes overwhelmed, pushing work off until the night before exams and condemning themselves to ineffective all-nighters. The key is to adopt an “architecture for success” based on planned blocks of work. It’s not about working harder, but working smarter, by using “lost” moments during the day.

Rather than going home as soon as a class is over, students must learn to see CEGEP as a workplace. Gaps between two classes are not just breaks, but golden opportunities to get ahead on reading, exercises, or reviewing notes at the library. The block method, combined with techniques like Pomodoro, can radically transform efficiency.

The goal is to help them realize that success at CEGEP is not a question of intelligence, but primarily a question of organization and discipline.

CPE or private daycare: Which choice for parental peace of mind?

Faced with a young person who seems to be drowning in the deep end of a public CEGEP, a question may emerge: is the structure the right one? Surprisingly, this questioning may recall a dilemma many parents faced years earlier: the choice between a CPE (public daycare) and a private daycare. On one side, a public structure with large groups and an expectation of autonomy; on the other, a private structure often perceived as offering tighter, more personalized supervision, but at a higher cost.

The comparison applies well to the collegiate world. The public CEGEP, free and accessible, is a wonderful learning environment for an autonomous student. However, for a young person who needs more proactive follow-up, the class sizes and the reactive model (help is provided if requested) can be a challenge. Private colleges or private support services often emphasize smaller groups and more systematic student tracking. The following table highlights these fundamental differences in approach.

It’s not about saying one option is better than the other, but recognizing that they meet different needs. For a teenager who feels lost and invisible in a large structure, exploring the option of a more supervised environment may be a relevant discussion. An excellent way to get an idea is to take advantage of Open House days, even mid-year. Visiting another CEGEP, public or private, can de-stigmatize the idea of a change and allow your teen to envision themselves in an environment that might suit them better.

The simple fact of considering other options can be enough to soothe anxiety and show your teenager that they are not in a dead end.

The mistake of trying to do everything alone, leading to dropout after 3 months

Regardless of the institution, public or private, one of the biggest traps of CEGEP is isolation. The fragmented schedule, groups that change every class, and the disappearance of the high school “homeroom gang” can quickly create a sense of loneliness. Attempting to get through this ordeal alone is often a recipe for failure. The statistics are telling: more than one in five people who start their first semester do not re-enroll for the second, according to a vast Quebec study. Isolation is a key factor in this statistic.

Success at CEGEP is as much social as it is academic. Building links, forming study groups, and daring to interact with professors are essential survival strategies. A student who stays connected to the social fabric of their CEGEP is a student who is more likely to persevere. The testimony of one CEGEP student perfectly illustrates this reality:

Encourage your teen to take the first step: suggest to a classmate to review together before an exam, ask the professor a question at the end of class, or simply sign up for an extracurricular activity. These small actions break isolation and build a support network that can make all the difference between dropping out and succeeding.

The message to get across is simple: “In CEGEP, we are smarter together than alone.”

How to return to school after age 40 in Quebec without putting your finances at risk?

What if, despite all discussions and strategies, the decision to take a break seems inevitable? For a parent, this prospect can be terrifying, perceived as a definitive failure, a leap into the unknown as significant as a decision to return to school at age 40. However, it is essential to de-stigmatize. A break is not necessarily a permanent dropout. If well-structured, it can become a “constructive gap year,” precious time to mature, explore interests, and return to studies more motivated and with a clearer vision.

A study conducted at CEGEP de Granby revealed that while more than 40% of students had thought about dropping out, those who took a structured break with clear goals often returned with a better orientation. The idea is not to let the adolescent “do nothing” for a year, but to co-construct a project with them for this transition period. As one guidance counselor suggests:

If the teen quits, help them plan what comes next so it isn’t a ‘lost’ year. Work in a field related to their interests, do volunteer work, or take one course at a time as a non-program student to explore a path without the pressure of a full semester.

– Guidance Counselor, Guide de transition au collégial

This Plan B can take several forms: finding a job (even part-time), engaging in a volunteer project aligned with their values, taking one or two courses as a “free student” to get a taste of a field without the commitment of a full session, or traveling if means allow. The objective is to stay active, continue learning about oneself and the world, and transform this break into a springboard rather than a pitfall.

Accepting a break is not giving up. It is trusting your teenager and understanding that sometimes, the shortest path to success involves a thoughtful detour.